Children: The Challenge, by Rudolf Dreikurs, is a bit outdated and thick enough to double as a door stop, but it is a classic read for learning how to help children link actions with consequences.

John Rosemond says he doesn’t remember his mother ever exclaiming, "these kids are exhausting!" Rosemond says if your kids continually exhaust you, they are too demanding. Family Building packages Rosemond’s approach nicely, but it is best to wear thick skin before reading Rosemond. He has a way of making a parent uncomfortable and smarter.

A bookstore used to award points toward book purchases for every A on a child’s report card. When our son was in second grade the bookstore manager informed him that music and art didn't count. I wanted to, well, I wanted to give her a copy of Howard Gardner’s Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences. The book gives insight into the many ways children learn. And for the record, music and art "do count."

The aforementioned books are either sitting on our bookshelves, or are out on loan. The books are worn, dog-eared and tattered. Books can never take the place of mentors with a wealth of experience, but they can become your very good friends.

Columnist and speaker Lori Borgman is the author of several books including  Pass the Faith, Please  (Waterbrook Press) and  All Stressed Up and No Place to Go    (Emmis Books). Comments may be sent to her at  lori@loriborgman.com .