When kids excel in academics, sports, music, or some other endeavor, monitor their attitude and behavior. Be alert to signals that they feel superior or look down upon their peers. Encourage good sportsmanship. Help them understand that people of great character acknowledge the achievements of others; only small-minded people engage in smack talk and put-downs.

Encourage your kids to use their abilities to serve God and help others. Teach them to enjoy the feeling of a job well done and to thank God for His gifts of talent, strength, and health which make it possible for us to achieve our goals. Everything we have is a gift. We can't take credit for a gift; we can only be grateful to the Giver.

5. Set a zero-tolerance policy toward disrespectful attitudes and talk. Children should never be permitted to behave rudely or use profane language. Train them to speak and behave respectfully from an early age. Make it clear that you will listen to your kids and consider any complaint or object they may have—as long as it is stated respectfully.

Peter Roby, Director of Sport in Society at Northeastern University, told me a story from his boyhood. "My father will always be my hero and role model," he said. "He demanded that I show respect on the field or court towards the officials, opponents, and fans. When I was about ten and playing Little League baseball, I got visibly upset with an umpire's call on some of my pitches. When I came in after the inning, my father said, 'If you ever act disrespectfully to an umpire again, I'll come out on the field and drag you off the mound.' He expected me to respect everyone. I did from then on."

Here are some suggestions for dealing with kids who show disrespect: If a child becomes disrespectful during an argument or disagreement, stop the conversation and remind the child that you will only listen to his or her opinions if they are stated courteously. You might interrupt and say, "Would you like to restate that in a respectful tone?"

When children correct their tone and show they can discuss disagreements in a respectful way, affirm their maturity and character. Let them know that you notice their character growth, and you are proud of the way they conducted themselves, despite the disagreement.

If your children persist in being disrespectful, impose consequences that are age-appropriate and consistent. Don't discipline out of anger, simply because your kids pushed your buttons. Discipline out of love, because you want to shape their character.

Thomas M. Doran, a partner with Hubbell, Roth & Clark, Inc., recalls, "In my youth, I was prone to biting and indiscriminate criticism. My dad's best friend was my godfather, and one time he was visiting from Chicago. He was a big-hearted, cheerful man and an ex-Marine like my dad. The three of us got into a political discussion and I made a disparaging remark about my dad, but he ignored it. Later, after my dad left the room, my godfather took me aside and said, 'Your dad is my friend, and I won't tolerate my friend being insulted—not even by his own son.'