Let reality be the teacher. Don’t rescue your kids from the consequences of their failure to take responsibility for what they should do. Instead, allow them to experience the natural consequences so they’ll learn to be more responsible the next time.

Respond rather than reacting. Think before speaking or acting when your kids say or do something that bothers you. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you. Stay calm and rational. If you’re calm, consistent, and always do what you say you’ll do, you’ll earn their respect and trust.

Don’t do for your kids what they can and should be doing for themselves. Refuse to do tasks that your kids have the responsibility to do. Let the tasks go undone until your kids step up to the plate to do them. For example, if your son was supposed to do his laundry but didn’t and now doesn’t have clean clothes for school, have him wear dirty clothes until he does the laundry himself as he should have done.

Withhold one thing until another thing is completed. If your kids haven’t done what you’ve asked them to do, insist that they complete it before you’ll allow them to do what they want to do. For example, if your daughter hasn’t done her homework, make sure she completes it before allowing her to invite a friend over to play.

Start with the end in mind. Think and pray about the kind of people you want your kids to be several years from now, and after they grow up. What character qualities are most important to you, and why? What steps can you take now to encourage your kids to develop these qualities?

Make spending time with your kids a priority. Often, kids misbehave as a way of getting their parents’ attention. No amount of training your kids to behave well will pay off if you’re not spending enough time with them. Make it a high priority to spend as much time as you possibly can with your kids, so you can build the close relationships they need with you. If you treat your children well – giving them respect and unconditional love – they’ll naturally want to treat you well.

Use an authoritative parenting style. Avoid the unhealthy extremes of being too permissive or too controlling. Instead, be an authoritative parent, who: Gives your kids age-appropriate choices and formulates guidelines with them; Provides decision-making opportunities to your kids; Develops consistent, loving discipline; Asks your kids the facts about a situation and what they think before jumping to conclusions; Encourage your kids to think for themselves while maintaining a healthy respect for themselves and others; Holds your kids accountable; Looks out for the welfare, yet lets them experience the natural consequences of their mistakes; and Conveys respect, self-worth, and love to your kids.