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Talking With Your Teen about Premarital Sex

Talking With Your Teen about Premarital Sex

Vicki Courtney

Author, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter

As the news of Bristol Palin’s pregnancy has made its way to the general public, I want to remind the Christian body of a few timely truths:

1. No one is exempt from falling prey to the temptations of the world. "There but for the grace of God, go I." This could be my daughter or for that matter, your own. My prayers are with this family as they struggle through this life-changing event...all the while, the world is watching.

2. I am confident that God will work this situation together for His good and glory. (Romans 8:28) As someone who faced an unexpected pregnancy at the same age and did not choose life, I am personally praying that this young lady's example will give other teen girls who find themselves facing the same plight the courage to choose life. Abortion is not the quick-fix the culture preaches. It's time that those of us who bought this lie come forward and share our regret.

3. We have a problem, folks, and our sex-obsessed culture is having a devastating impact on our young people. It's time for a new approach and an updated sex talk with our kids.

I commend the Palin family for choosing life, especially at time when the political stakes are so high. I dare say, many might have sought a quick-fix solution to an untimely pregnancy in an effort to squelch rumors and prosper careers.

I have had many Christian women cry on my shoulder over the heartache of a past abortion when sharing my own testimony over the years. Some are ministers' daughters, seminary students' wives, and other prominent Christians who opted for abortion as a quick-fix to save face and guard reputations. Let us not minimize the difficulty of the choice the Palin family is making.

I mentioned above that we as parents could easily find our families facing the same situation. Ironically, I currently find myself buried in this very topic because I’m putting the finishing touches on my book Five Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter. So, I want to share what it looks like to step into the fray of a cultural battle raging out of control and address this topic with our children. Many of the mistakes our teens make today result from false information fed to them through the media or sadly, “sex education” programs that promote an unhealthy, unbiblical worldview.

Here’s an except from the section entitled "Sex is great...and worth the wait." It doesn't cover every aspect of the issue, but it's a great start. Enjoy and adapt it accordingly if you have sons rather than daughters. Most importantly, let's start talking!

What the culture is not telling your daughter about sex

If I had to sum up the culture’s message regarding sex, it would match a customer review on Amazon for one of my books to teen girls. Apparently my suggestion that God created sex for the confines of marriage didn’t sit well with one reader who gave my book a one star review and offered the following comments:

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Most Recent User Comments
frogmistress
9/19/2008 2:48 PM
My father wanted me to abstain from sex till marriage, he even didn't want me to use tampons. He told me the greatest gift a woman could give her husband . I wanted to do that, I really did, but at the age of 15-19 I was date raped many times by my stepfather and raped by a guy that I thought wanted to date me. I felt ruined and dirty. I also felt that my gift was robbed from me. I began to have out of wedlock sex, I began to abuse myself because that was all I knew. I thank God that I was given the knowledge of condoms, so I didn't become pregnant or catch a disease. I plan on teaching the same principles to my two boys. I will also tell them about the dangers of pr-marital sex and if they chose to partake I will also tell them how to avoid unwanted pregnancy and disease by talking about condoms. I am one who has learned that abstinence only dose not work.
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