Today as I was rifling through all of my files trying to find where I put Christi’s Social Security Card so I could take her to get her driver’s license, I stumbled upon a stack of papers I had completely forgotten about.  I guess you could say I had completely forgotten about almost everything in the file cabinet too.  But this particular stack of papers was in her personal file.

As I sat down, forgetting that I was looking for her Social Security Card, on this her 16th birthday so I could take her to get her driver’s license, moisture began developing on my eyes, threatening to streak my face. 

A variety of emotions were swirling around my heart.  First I was feeling like a failure because I could not for the life of me remember where the all important card was and she would not be able to get her license on this the day of her 16th birthday and if I couldn’t find it, she would have to wait at least two weeks. 

I was also experiencing yet another “baby growing up,” which meant two things – I was getting older and so were my children. 

I recognized the papers in my hand as love letters I had written to Christi beginning when she was just four months old.  Instantly I was transplanted back to those days. 

Christi was our second child, joining her 14-month-old sister Ashley.  My life at that time was far from a Christian life.  It was 10 days after her birth, when I hemorrhaged from retained placenta and nearly lost my life, that I knew if I had died, heaven was not the place I would have gone.  That “near miss” in my life prompted me to begin searching for Jesus. It also prompted me to begin writing.

What I held in my hand were my first attempts at writing.  Not wanting to bare my soul to the world at large, I wrote letters to my children. As I read I was reminded of some days in my life that were difficult, yet so full of love, it was all worth the time invested. One of the entries talked about getting a job.  Allow me to share the entry with you.