These cat puns are both horrible and painful!  You were warned.
What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
 - A duck filled fatty puss!

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
 - He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath.

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
 - There was some money in the kitty.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
 - Shredded tweet!

What do cat actors say in a Shakespearean play?
 - Tabby or not tabby! That is the question.

What is the only kind of work a weak cat can do?
 - Light mouse work

Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
 - Because she wanted to mail the litter

Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
 - To a mewseum (!!!!)

What does a cat get from watching too many Mickey Mouse films?
 - Disney Spells

Where did the first cats live?
 - Purr-sia and Paw-tugal

What do you get if you cross a parakeet with a cat?
 - A peeping Tom

Hear about the cat who was a tennis fan?
 - He had two brothers in the racket.