"I Yell Because I Care"

"Procrastinate Now"

"Rehab Is for Quitters"

"Re-Elect Nobody"

Across a drawing of a skeleton)
"Waiting for the Perfect Man"

"My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse...
He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse"

"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"

"Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups"

"I Don't Suffer from Insanity....
I'm a Carrier"

"The More I Learn About Women, The More I Love My Harley"

"I'm Not 50...
I'm $49.95 Plus Shipping & Handling "

"You Who Think You Know It All Are Really Annoying to Those of Us Who Do"

"I Am the Person Your Parents Warned You About"