A little old man went into the police station to file a complaint against his wife.  The poor fellow had a huge lump on his head, and was in obvious pain.

"What happened?" asked the sympathetic officer.

"Well, we had one heck of an argument," said the little old man, "and then she smacked me with a maple leaf."

"A maple leaf?  That couldn't hurt you," said the officer.

"Are you kidding?" exclaimed the little old man. "It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table!"