Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, I declared to my wife that oatmeal would now be my cereal of choice.

But after eating my first bowl, I told my wife, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff.  It goes down real rough."

"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"

"You're supposed to cook it?" I replied.

That's when she left the kitchen . . . laughing uncontrollably . . .