A couple had quarreled about money and gone to bed angry.

The next morning, they rose, showered, dressed and ate breakfast in silence.

Finally, hoping to break the ice, he said, "You know, honey, I'm not myself today."

"Really?" she said. "I hadn't noticed the improvement."


"How does your wife like being pregnant?" John asked his friend David.

"Oh, she's not pregnant," David replied, "she's expecting."

"What's the difference?" Sam pressed.

"Well," David explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet . . ."