I told my wife she'd have to make my paycheck go further . . . . so . . . . . she she took it to Hawaii.

I don't worry about the energy crisis as long as I have electricity in my hair and gas in my stomach.

Show me a good loser . . . . and I'll show you a fellow playing golf with his boss.

My brother is so vain, he joined the Navy so the world could see him!

My husband is so thin, when he wears a red necktie he looks like a thermometer.

Last night I saw a movie with a happy ending . . . . everybody was glad it was over.