What He Says - And What He *Really* Means!

He says, 'I can't find it'
MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

He says, 'Will you marry me?'
MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out; I can't find the washer and there's no peanut butter left.

He says, 'Can I help you with dinner?'
MEANS: Why isn't it already on the table?

He says, 'It would take too long to explain.'
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

He says, 'We're going to be late.'
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.

He says, 'Take a break, honey, you're working too hard.'
MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

He says, 'That's interesting dear.'
MEANS: Are you still talking?

He says, 'You really look terrific in that outfit.'
MEANS: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.

He says, 'This relationship is getting too serious.'
MEANS: I like you almost as much as I like my truck.

He says, 'I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.'
MEANS: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.