The Book of VCR
VCR: Book 1 Chapter 1.
Thou shalt use no Sony, nor shalt thou use Memorex tape lest thy heads be fouled. Maxell doth excel.
Use tapes of greater than 120 minute length at thy peril, for they doth prang.
Pause thou shalt not if thou butst think.
Beware the pressing of buttons unknown to you; they may recordeth over thy favorites. Thy remote be holy, let not thy feline prance thereon, nor shalt thou place it carelessly wither, lest thou be truly lost without it.
Wither thou programmist for the recording of events not present for, THREE times must thou checketh thy programming, for there are pitfalls many and the renoun of bad programming be legend. Still it will avail you naught, for thou hast cable and twill laugh upon you in your helplessness.
Thou shalt breaketh the safey interlock tabs of VHS, for in their absense, they may betray you not, and thy favorites shall not perish foolishly.
Originally published August 03, 2004.
