Dog Rules for Christmas. . . .
- Friday, December 03, 2004
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog cuddles. Be generous!
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. They won't be.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers. Just sit still and be patient. This too will pass.
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know: For instance, Don't pee on the tree... Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree... Mind your tail when you are near the tree... If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open... And, don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree. That is a particularly important 'don't'.
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part: Not all strangers appreciate kisses and cleans. Don't eat off the buffet table. Beg for goodies subtly. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your spot on the sofa -- they don't know any better. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach, unless... you can get away with it...
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important) Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house. Remember, you're the visitor. Be nice to the kiddies. Turn on your charm... big time! It will pay off in extra treats.
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. As alarming as this may appear, DO NOT BITE HIM!!! [ I repeat: DO NOT BITE!! ] Lay low in a far corner and observe this jolly old fellow's actions from there. He just may be nice enough to call you over and give you a few cookie crumbs. Once he has finished the job he has come to do in the living room, he will leave the same way he appeared. NOW....you can run and wake up your humans! Go!
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