For new fathers, or anyone thinking about becoming a father, you must learn these WORDS OF WISDOM:

Don´t ask me, ask your mother.

Close the door. Were you raised in a barn?

You didn´t beat me. I let you win.

Who said life was supposed to be fair.

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

You call that noise "music"?

No, we´re not there yet.

When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect.

As long as you live under my roof, you´ll live by my rules.

Because I said so. That´s why.

Do what I say, not what I do.

So you think you´re smart, do you?

If I´ve told you once, I´ve told you a thousand times.

You want something to do? I´ll give you something to do.

I´m not just talking to hear my own voice!

What do you think I am, a bank?

What part of NO don´t you understand?

I don´t care what other people are doing! I´m not everybody else´s father!

If you´re gonna be dumb, you´ve gotta be tough.

Enough is enough!

Don´t make me stop the car!