When I was a kid, my dad and I had a running joke. If anyone asked what he did for a living, I always said, "He's a sports mechanic. He fixes boxing matches and horse races."  

Once I answered a teacher this way. She flipped out and summoned my parents. Dad calmed her down by explaining it was a joke.  

"So what do you do?" she asked.  

Dad, a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company said . . .

. . . "I sell drugs."