Faster Than the Speed of Light

- Sleep until noon. Still get to work by 8:00 a.m.!
- Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
- No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
- L.A. to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
- That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.
- Bugs never see you coming.
- Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan, "It's there before you order or it's free!"
- The more you drive, the younger you get.
Originally published February 03, 2003.