Librarian Humor

All of these situations are real and some of them were mighty embarrassing. Enjoy!
"Do you have that book by Rushdie: 'Satanic Nurses'?"
"Where is the reference desk?" This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"!
"Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"
"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"
"Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?"
"Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"
"I need a color photograph of George Washington [Columbus, Moses, Socrates, etc.] for a school paper I'm writing"
"I need a photocopy of Abraham Lincoln's birth certificate."
"Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"
"I need to find out Ibid's first name for my bibliography."
"Why don't you have any books by Ibid? He's written a lot of important books!"
"I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months
Submitted by:Brknshll
Originally published January 09, 2005.