Product Labels
On a Duraflame fireplace log:
"Caution - Risk of Fire."
On a compact disc player:
"Do not use the Ultradisc 2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
On a 35-mm camera:
"When operating the selector dial with your eye to the viewfinder, care should be taken not to put your finger in your eye accidentally."
On a propane blowtorch:
"Never use while sleeping."
On an air conditioner:
"Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows."
On a vacuum cleaner:
"Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning."
On a mattress:
"Do not attempt to swallow."
On a book of matches:
"Contents may catch fire."
On a Batman costume:
"Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly."
On a bottle of hair coloring:
"Do not use as an ice cream topping."
Originally published June 19, 2004.
