Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.

Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.

You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14 year old on a moped.

15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car for 3 days.

When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?"

Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the "Club".

While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.