Reasons You Should Buy a New Car
Published Jul 16, 2005
Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.
You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14 year old on a moped.
15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car for 3 days.
When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?"
Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the "Club".
While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.
Originally published July 17, 2005.
