1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile, and high-five the salesman.

2. You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free" has a direct line to Moe's Towing Company.

3. The booster cables are not in the trunk, but are permanently welded to the battery.

4. The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening.

5. The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of the rear license plate has been removed.

6. You get a "Good Luck" card from the previous owner.

7. As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door, and waves you in.

8. When you leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway. As you go by, it falls in behind you.

9. The little "Service Engine" warning signal in the dashboard comes on, and reads "Me Again".