You Know It's Really Cold When ...
1) You inhale and your nostrils stick together.
2) People use two sets of keys so they don't have to turn the car off.
3) While shopping a 'Conga line' referes to a formation of snow plows, NOT a Latin dance.
4) When you blow bubbles they freese and you can pick them up.
5) You think you kicked a rock on the sidewalk and then realize it's doggy-doo.
6) Children wear so many layers of clothing they can't get up if they fall down.
7) There are black ice warnings for when the moisture from a car exhaust freezes on the pavement.
8) When you see the morning temperature is zero you're happy because it's going to be a nice day.
9) The biggest accomplishment of the day is getting your car started.
10) For fun you throw cups of hot water out your back door to watch it crystalize in midair.
11) People move to Alaska because it's warmer.
12) People wear long johns under business suits.
13) Hospitals report an increase in broken toes from people kicking the 'chunks' off their cars.
14) The #1 response to the question "How are you?" is "COLD"!
15) When it warms up to minus 10, you unzip your coat.
16) You can't wait to get into an ice arena to warm up.
17) It hurts your teeth to inhale through your mouth.
18) You get out of your car to check the tires...not because you think they're flat, but because you think they're square.
Originally published March 14, 2004.
