You Know You Live In A Small Town When . . .
- Tuesday, December 28, 2004
The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.
The Ice Cream store has only two flavors, chocolate and vanilla.
Third Street is on the edge of town.
There's no hospital -- only a first aid kit.
You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.
You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.
No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
The local phone book has only one yellow page, and half of that is residential.
You dial a wrong number and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
You drive into the ditch five miles out of town and the word gets back before you do.
You can't walk for exercise because every car that passes you offers you a ride.
The city limits signs are both on the same post!
The City jail is called amoebae, because it only has one cell.
The McDonnell's only has one Golden Arch.
The 7-11 is a 3 1/2 - 5 1/2.
The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.
You speak to each dog you pass by name and he wags his tail at you.
There's nothing doing every minute.
You miss a Sunday at church and receive a get-well card.
Someone asks you how you feel and listens to what you say.
The ZIP code is a fraction.
Second Street is in the next town over.
There's no place to go that you shouldn't.
A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes.
The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog.
There's no bank ... as soon as someone gets enough money, they leave.
Hardware, Dry Goods, Grocery, Clothing and farm supplies are all sold at the same store.
The New Year's baby was born in October.
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