Signs Your HMO is CHEAP
- Saturday, January 01, 2005
The trend towards lower cost Health Maintenance Organizations has many Americans worried. Here are the "Top Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO"
Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
Use of antibiotics deemed an "unauthorized experimental procedure."
Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of "War and Peace,"
Exam room has a tip jar.
You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
"Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?"
The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
"Pre-natal vitamin" prescription is a box of Tic-Tacs.
Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park,"
Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.
Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day."
24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK
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