The patient before you was a goat.

Instead of anesthetic he has you watch PBS.

He has an assistant named Igor.

The local bar association named him "Client of the Year."

Whenever he leaves the room his nurse makes duck noises.

During surgery he has to keep repeating that "thigh bone connected to the knee bone" song.

Mike Wallace and a film crew are hanging out in his waiting room.

He asks you to turn your head and cough during an eye exam.

You can beat him in a game of Operation.

All his Medical books are from the Time-Life "Do-it-Yourself Series."

He has an office sharing arrangement with a mortician.