I don't think you can really know how heavy something is until it has fallen on you. -  LeMel Hebert Williams

Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers.  Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher's salary. - Patrick F. McManus

I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not. - Alan Smithee

I'm in love with a girl who doesn't even know I'm alive.  She's thinks she got me with her long range rifle, but she missed.    Jonathan Colan

The best evidence I've been able to come up with that the human race is increasing in intelligence is that parents no longer give their kids hatchets for Christmas. - Patrick F. McManus