Driving changes people. Everybody on the road today is a regular Dr Jekyll and Mr Goodwrench.

Half the people on the road should be pulled over by the police, the other half by psychiatrists.

Traffic is getting so bad during rush hour that you can change a flat and not lose your place in line.

To some people, driving is transportation. To others it's a contact sport.

Aggressive drivers are the ones who try to get even after we cut them off.

The only way to get home on time is to take the day off.

The way some people drive the car should be considered an accomplice.

Traffic was so bad on the freeway, I had to stop twice to make car payments.

I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity.

I drive so bad, I got my master's degree from Driving School.

I'll never forget the first ticket I ever got--$30 fine for passing on the wrong side of a subway train.