Short Funny Sayings

UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist!
A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
Money Talks ... but all mine ever says is Goodbye!
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
43% of all statistics are useless.
I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn LOUDER!
Black Holes are where God divided by zero.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Dolphins: Don't trust a species that's always smiling, its up to something!
Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.
1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts.
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Originally published March 23, 2004.