Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors
Published Feb 07, 2004
Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements
In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.
Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench
Personal pew licenses now sold
Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World
Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep
The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters
Scripture verses brought to you by Windows XP
Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon
Bulletin has coupon section
Choir members wear Dockers
In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel
There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate
Offering envelopes bearing Visa or Mastercard emblems on them
Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC
Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC
Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network
Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos
Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes
Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front
Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo
Free Perrier at all baptisms
Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL
In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.
Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench
Personal pew licenses now sold
Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World
Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep
The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters
Scripture verses brought to you by Windows XP
Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon
Bulletin has coupon section
Choir members wear Dockers
In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel
There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate
Offering envelopes bearing Visa or Mastercard emblems on them
Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC
Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC
Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network
Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos
Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes
Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front
Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo
Free Perrier at all baptisms
Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL
Originally published February 08, 2004.
