Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements

In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.

Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench

Personal pew licenses now sold

Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World

Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep

The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters

Scripture verses brought to you by Windows XP

Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon

Bulletin has coupon section

Choir members wear Dockers

In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel

There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate

Offering envelopes bearing Visa or Mastercard emblems on them

Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC

Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC

Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network

Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos

Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes

Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front

Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo

Free Perrier at all baptisms

Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL