Before footballs are admitted into a professional game, they must all go to football boot camp. One day Sergeant Pigskin came in to the bunker to inspect his little troops. "Gentleman!" the Sergeant shouted, "I want you all lined up for inspection on the double."

One football was swaying back and forth, obviously having problems controlling itself.

"And what is your problem?" the Sergeant demanded.

"N-n-nothinggg. . ." the football slurred.

"Sir," a fellow football stammered, "that football was spiked."