* The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.

* Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh.

* Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

* There's no game like golf. You go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

* Sand is alive: If it isn't how do you explain the way it works against you?

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 AM?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."