One taxpayer, who worked at a pest control firm listed his occupation as "Hired Killer."

"When my mother makes out her income tax return every year, under Occupation she writes in, 'Eroding my daughter's self- esteem.'" --Robin Roberts

An IRS telephone assister was overheard to say, "Sir please watch your language!...Sir, watch your language!...Sir, please!...Reverend, I'm ashamed of you!"

In 1987, Congress required that the Social Security numbers of all dependents age five and older be included on the tax return. In that tax year, over 7 million dependents disappeared from tax returns all over the country. Must have been the largest case of mass alien abduction in the history of the world.

"The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." -An unidentified Tax Auditor

"[The Internal Revenue Code is] about 10 times the size of the Bible - and unlike the Bible, contains no good news." --Sen. Don Nickles

"I like to pay taxes. With them I buy civilization." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

"[The tax code] is a monstrosity and there's only one thing to do with it. Scrap it, kill it, drive a stake through its heart, bury it and hope it never rises again to terrorize the American people." --Steve Forbes