"My dog ate my car keys."

"My migraine headache is really bad. I should probably sit in a cool, dark movie theater for a while."

"My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm waiting for the plumber."

"I have to buy some new skis. I left my old ones in a tree."

"My computer is down. I'm trying to cheer it up."

"If I came to work today all I'd think about is the beach and a cold beverage and distracted employees aren't productive and just cost the company money. So it's better all around if I stay home today."

"I have a sick kid. The adult goats, however, seem to be doing fine."

"I'm having car trouble. The trouble is I don't own a car."

"Calling in sick today, boss. I guess aspirin doesn't work on Spring Fever."

"I won a sauerkraut and sausage eating contest yesterday. You don't want me there today. Trust me."

"I'll need a couple of days funeral leave. There's been a death in the family. Someone moved my fern too close to the heating duct."

"I'll be putting my eight hours in ... just not consecutively."

"I have to see the doctor today. Apparently there's still a piece of brain left in my head."