My first job was working in an orange juice factory, 
but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.
 
 Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
 but I just couldn't hack it, so ...they gave me the ax.
 
 After that I tried to be a tailor,
 but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because ...it was a so-so job.
 
 Next I tried working in a muffler factory,
 but that ...was exhausting.
 
 I wanted to be a barber, but
 ...I just couldn't cut it.
 
 Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life,
 but I just ...didn't have the thyme.
 
 I attempted to be a deli worker,
 but any way I sliced it, I...couldn't cut the mustard.
 
 My best job was being a musician,
 but eventually I found ...I wasn't noteworthy.
 
 I studied a long time to become a doctor,
 but I...didn't have any patients.
 
 Next was a job in a shoe factory;
 I tried but I ...just didn't fit in.
 
 I became a professional fisherman,
 but discovered that I ...couldn't live on my net income.
 
 Thought about becoming a witch,
 so I  ...tried that for a spell.
 
 I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company,
 but the work was ...just too draining.
 
 I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes,
 but I was fired because I ...wasn't up to it.
 
 So then I got a job in a fitness-center,
 but they said I ...wasn't fit for the job.
 
 Next, I found being an electrician interesting,
 but the work was shocking and I ...was discharged.
 
 After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was  ...no future in it.
 
 My last job was working at Starbucks,
 but I had to quit because it ...was always the same old grind.
 
 SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I'M A PERFECT FIT FOR THIS JOB!