One of my single guy friends once made this comment, and I noted it immediately: “When I see an outwardly attractive woman do or say something that is foolish or worldly, it is like a slap in the face to me. I can’t turn away fast enough. But when a godly woman does something to encourage someone else, I bless God for her and more than once such actions have caused me to consider her in prayer.” 

Inward Beauty: Precious to God, Attractive to Others

As attractive as that kind of appeal is to men, it is more important to consider how God views it. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says: “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” In this verse, we not only find a kind of imperishable beauty, we also find how God values it—precious.  

It may be hard to understand how a quiet and gentle spirit would make a woman beautiful. It sounds so mousy. At least that’s what I thought when I first read that passage as a new Christian. My views had been shaped by the temperamental divas of popular culture—high-maintenance, self-centered, dramatic women who seem to drag men hooked by the nose in their wake. These divas commanded attention—but a quiet and gentle woman? How could she be beautiful?

I’ve since learned that a woman who is quiet and gentle is not contorted by stress, anger, or impatience. Her laughter, and not her frowning, is etched in the lines of her face. There isn’t turbulence in her air space from all her agitation and distrust. She’s not wound so tight that she vibrates with irritation and anxiety. Instead, this woman has learned, as the Countess of Blessington once said, “There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.”

A quiet and gentle woman is like a weaned child. She trusts the Lord, and this lack of fear makes her radiant. Psalm 34:4-5 says:

I sought the Lord, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears. 
Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.

If you are discouraged about growing older and losing beauty as the world defines it, then I hope you will be encouraged by this verse. You can cultivate radiant beauty simply from trusting the Lord in circumstances like your singleness. You need never be ashamed when you are looking to Him! When you seek the Lord as you are tempted by fear and trust Him to work out your circumstances, the more radiant you will become.

Let me assure you that worthy single men do notice this kind of beauty. I have it on good (male) authority that men are intrigued by women whose satisfaction is in God. There’s a mystery there that is captivating. They also understand and appreciate the concept of inner beauty. One of my single men friends once said this profound statement: “Inner beauty points to heaven. Outer beauty points to destruction.”
    
Amen.