Don’t let anything deter you from pursuing a closer relationship with God. Even if church is the last place you want to be because some other Christians have judged, criticized or alienated you, realize that God loves you deeply, no matter what. Recognize that what you need more than anything else in life is a close relationship with God, so invest in it. Be willing to give up the futile attempt to control your own life and get out of God’s way so He can bless you with His great plans for you. If you’ve encountered hurtful people at a church, try another church, and keep in mind that many churches offer either singles’ ministries or divorce recovery programs. Understand that you need to be in community with other believers to sustain your faith and grow. Don’t hesitate to come to God just as you are; remember that He loves you unconditionally. Let go of unhealthy guilt and shame. Focus on relationship instead of religion, building intimacy with God instead of trying to impress Him through rituals. Make God your top priority, despite how busy you are, and watch how He will transform your life as a result. Ask God to help you learn from your suffering and grow more into the woman He wants you to become. Invite God to use your suffering to accomplish good purposes in your life. Remember that God, who has created you in His own image, loves you more than you can ever know.

Forgive. Understand that you can’t get over what happened to you and move into a better future unless you’re willing to forgive. Know that God expects you to forgive others since He has forgiven you. Realize that you can always count on God to help you forgive. Make the choice to do so, despite your feelings, and trust God to help you through the forgiveness process. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made that have harmed your children and other people, forgive people who have hurt you, and forgive God by stop holding grudges against Him for what He has permitted into your life. Confess your sins and repent of them, apologize to those you’ve wronged and reconcile your relationships with them if possible, and embrace the forgiveness that God offers you. Celebrate the freedom that forgiveness gives you, and keep on forgiving so that it becomes a habit in your life.

Enlist the legal and emotional support you need. Get to know your legal rights and how federal, state, and local laws can affect your circumstances. If you don’t have enough money to hire a lawyer, ask someone at your church or a legal aid organization to help you find a lawyer who offers free or low-cost help. If you or your children are going through physical or sexual abuse, get away from danger right away and seek help. Don’t be vindictive when dealing with your children’s father about issues like visitation and child support; remember that God calls you to act in a loving way to all people, especially your own children’s father. Don’t hesitate to ask men you respect to help you with specific tasks you’re not able to do well on your own, like repairing your car. Connect your children with some healthy male role models.