Callings are from God, and that is what gives them dignity—not the pay grade or the credibility that comes attached to them.

Having a Sense of Callings Stops the Nonsense of Competitive Life Comparisons

If I were to average the per-family kid count of friends’ Christmas card updates last year, I’d say it’s at about 2.5. It’s easy to look at those family photos and feel way behind as a single woman.

Comparisons become moot and jealousy grows pointless, however, when we understand that there is no one else on this particular track.  God’s callings create a personal course for each of us, and what’s important is how we run our race.  That also makes it possible to cheer on others as they run their different races (and happily post snapshots of their grinning cherubs on the refrigerator door).

If Each of Use Has Multiple Callings, Then We Haven’t Missed the Mark if We’re Not Married

One of the toughest parts of looking forward to marriage is wondering when it will come around.  This year?  Next year?  Five years from now?  Ever?

That’s not a problem with callings.  Discovering your callings isn’t like being on hold, waiting for a second interview, or wondering if he will call.  We don’t have to wait around for callings to appear or wonder if we’ve missed them.  They are made up of what God has put before us to do right now, such as pay back college loans, clean the house, finish that project at work, help a friend who’s sick.  And they are the opportunities we see emerging for the future that fit our skills and interests (that new position at the office, a master’s degree in journalism, a chance to move closer to family).

That also means we don’t have to worry that we’ve missed a calling—and that includes marriage.  As long as we live attentive to the first call to Christ and the personal callings He has put in our lives, we can be confident that we aren’t in a holding pattern just because twenty-five (or thirty, or forty) is around the corner and marriage is nowhere in sight.

A person’s callings may include, but will not be limited to, marriage.  Even for those who do not marry, the marriage relationship is not the sum total of their callings.  To reduce the idea of callings to a single relationship—even one as central and life-changing as marriage—is to miss the point.  Getting married, in other words, shouldn’t be the measure of any woman’s success in life.

Marriage, motherhood, and the women in those stations of life deserve high esteem.  But what makes wives and mothers admirable?

The woman who puts her faith in Christ finds her identity and value in Him, not in her marital or maternal status.  A woman who is a wife and mother and who faithfully loves and serves God and her family deserves honor and praise for being faithful in the roles God has given her for that season of her life—not for the accomplishments of attracting a man, bearing children, or keeping house like Martha Stewart.