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Dating Jesus: The Single Cure for Loneliness
Julie Ferwerda
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
“You’ll never be satisfied in a relationship until you’re satisfied with Jesus.”
If you’re single, you’ve probably heard the well meaning, albeit superficial-sounding, vague admonition thrown at you usually by seemingly content married people. Great. How in the heck do you find contentment with Jesus when you feel the daily nagging ache for true earthly love—the love that even God said is the better way (Genesis 2:18)?
Really, I’ve found there’s only one way. Date Jesus. And the reason why married people “insensitively” tell you in so many words to do this, is because they know that marriage doesn’t solve all your longings for intimacy and belonging. They’re trying to give you the hint that, while marriage has it’s advantages and is overall a good thing, it isn’t the end all to loneliness and love hunger. Many have discovered this only after they got married and were still lonely. Now they’re letting you in on the secret: only by dating Jesus will you find what you’re truly searching for.
I just so happen to be married, but a few years ago when I was single—and lonely—I began dating Jesus. Now that I’m married, I still date Jesus. My husband, great guy though he is, can’t possibly be all I need for unconditional love, security, intimacy and belonging. Nor I for him. Without dating Jesus, I’d still be as lonely as a raft at sea.
Is it possible? Is it weird, thinking of Jesus as a romantic interest? And how do I do it?
The Bible tells us that when we get to our heavenly kingdom, we (his followers) will walk the holy matrimony aisle as his bride, celebrating our own great wedding day with our Prince of Peace (Revelation 19:7-9). That means to me that while we’re here on earth, we are in a sacred courtship with the King of kings. We’re in the relationship-building stage, getting to know him mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, but not getting to be united with him physically … until our wedding day. There’s nothing weird about thinking of Jesus like your greatest romantic interest, even if you’re a guy. He wants that kind of intimacy with you so that he can win your heart with his amazing, perfect love, and make you ready for the big day when you get to live happily ever after with him.
So how do you date Jesus? Here are some ways that work for me, but the sky is the limit for creativity—just like any true dating relationship. The key is to make it spontaneous, personal and a major priority. And then you’ll find that he begins showing up for dates—sometimes with flowers, love notes, and rainbows!
Read his love letter daily. My best experience for getting into the Word daily is by reading the One Year Bible in the New Living Translation. It’s broken up into 15-minute daily readings from Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs and is a very readable, intimate version. I’ve done this the last five years, and I can’t believe how much he’s revealed to me about Himself and the relevance of his Word to my daily life. If you don’t like going back and forth so much, try the One Year Chronological Bible (NLT).
Most Recent User Comments
luvJesusmore
3/16/2008 12:39 AM
It seems that sometimes singles get caught up in what they don't have. I am single. In the past I have found myself thinking about how I am alone. I am blessed. I have my health, my home, parents that love me and friends that bless me. I think that my selfish spirit started to see things differently when I went overseas on a mission team. I found myself feeling overwhelmed. People there had nothing. They didn't even have running water. They were joyful. Here I was complaining about not having a man? Wow. God has blessed me with everything I need. True. Maybe He has seen fit not to give me all of the things I want but that is because he is a gracious and loving God. He knows me better than I know myself and knows my needs. He didn't promise to fulfill all of my wants but my needs. This book is not simplistic. It is merely a book thats focus is to drive us back to what we should always be looking to. That is our Savior.
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Super_Nova
2/17/2008 2:26 AM
I am a 31 year old single mother who has never been married and I can totally relate with what the author said. While it is very simplistic, it is true for me. I look at Jesus as being the man in my life. When I get blessings for me and my family, I know that it is him who has made a way to take care of us. I try my best to think of how I carry myself, in the eyes of Jesus. Just like I would as a boyfriend how I look before I leave the house, I ask Jesus. I take the time to just look around at the natural things that God has his hands on to make. I feel like I have the best boyfriend ever. He takes great care of me, he treats me respectfully, he provides for me, he loves my children like they are his own, he accepts me just as I am and loves me unconditionally. He is so good to me. And I know that he wants only the best for me so, until he lets the man that he made me for, find me, then I am happy to have him as the man in my life and in my heart.
rgod
2/14/2008 11:22 PM
While beautifully written and full of good advice, I think that this article was too simplistic. From what I gather, the author was married at 19 and (from what I understand - but I could be wrong) has no real conception of what it is to be adult, single, and christian. You can have a wonderful loving relationship with Jesus, serve, yet still be lonely and long for a mate. Jesus is everything, but being with him does not mean that you will not be lonely again. He is not the cure for loneliness (except our longing for God himself) although he stands with us as we struggle.
No offense to the author. Again, she made excellent points and wrote very eloquently. But in reality, sometimes forming that relationship with Jesus leaves you lonelier for human companionship than before - especially as you start move deeply into the Lord and people no longer understand where you are coming from. He fulfills us - but for most of us, there is still a longing for human love.
No offense to the author. Again, she made excellent points and wrote very eloquently. But in reality, sometimes forming that relationship with Jesus leaves you lonelier for human companionship than before - especially as you start move deeply into the Lord and people no longer understand where you are coming from. He fulfills us - but for most of us, there is still a longing for human love.
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