Ephesians 4:26 reads, “Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you.”  The second part of the passage is often mentioned in regards to couples, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  This verse is often used to encourage couples to talk through any disagreement or conflicts they may have before ending the day and not let the anger carry into the next day.

Ephesians 4:27 is sometimes omitted as part of the discussion, yet it gives prudence to the preceding verse.  “… For anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.”  Feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, unmet expectations, pride, and selfishness within a relationship can all lead to anger, which the Devil will use to break the fortitude of the couple.  By being slow to become angry, we can eliminate that possible foothold of the Devil and relate with more understanding.

As the American Psychological Association said, “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.”  How we deal with it—prayerfully and in a “slow to become” manner—is a personal, emotional and spiritual struggle.

If we, as singles, want to prepare ourselves to be a good mate, we only have to look as far as the Bible to gain insight into the character qualities that we should be pursuing.  We should be slow to become angry because James tells us we should and because “The Lord is slow to anger and rich in unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion …” (Numbers 14:18).

During your next conversation, I challenge you (and myself) to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.  It will change the way we communicate and impact our relationships for the better.

 Cliff Young is a contributing writer to Sandlot Stories (ARose Books), as well as the monthly column, "He Said-She Said," in Crosswalk.com's Singles Channel.  An architect and former youth worker, he now works with Christian musicians and consults for a number of Christian ministries. Got feedback?  Send your comments and questions to CYdmg@yahoo.com.