More of what I don’t know about your relationship is how long you have been friends (Since you indicate that he is your “best friend,” I’ll assume that you’ve known each other for a while and have experienced some life together.  And if that is the case, then it could be argued that your best friend should have known you well enough to know what it would be like to date you before asking you to do so.).  Also, did your best friend ask you to date him with no encouragement or pressure on your part?  Or did the switch suddenly flip one day, and he saw you in a different light and decided to pursue you as a romantic interest on his own?

At this point, I would say that you are resting uncomfortably at “Awkward Impasse.”  What to do now that your best friend knows you have romantic feelings toward him?  What to do now that you know that your best friend does not apparently feel the same way toward you?  Once you’ve crossed the line of friendship, it is very hard to go back to just being friends again. 

Going forward, if you do remain best friends what will happen when one of you starts dating someone else?  Will you be able to maintain your friendship?  Will you be able to protect yourself, so that you do not get hurt if he begins dating another, directs most of his attention elsewhere and spends less time with you?

It appears that your best friend doesn’t know what he wants, but you do.  You want more than a friendship.  My advice?  Put some space between the two of you and make yourself available to others.  There could be other quality men in your life who know what they want and are interested in dating you.  But right now they might assume that you are taken because of your “friendship” with your best friend. 

Also, a little time away from your best friend may help you to see the situation with new eyes and a little more clearly—and help you emotionally detach and protect your heart. 

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven,” said a wise man named Solomon (Ecclesiastes 3:1).  I know that God will show you the wonderful (and the best!) plans that he has in store for you.

HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades.  He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Crosswalk.com’s Senior Entertainment Editor.  Since she’s only lived in four states in the continental U.S. and dipped her toes in just two oceans, she would one day like to experience life abroad … preferably where the views are lofty, the food is tasty and the shopping is cheap-y.

DISCLAIMER:  We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals.  We’re just average folk who understand what it’s like to live the solo life in the 21st century.  We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life’s questions, and it’s where we’ll go for guidance when responding to your questions.

GOT A QUESTION?  If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, please submit here (selected questions will be posted anonymously).  While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.

**This column first published on July 3, 2008.