Some of us wait and are extra selective because of the relational scars that mark our hearts. Others are fearful due to poor examples. Still some have no confidence in an institution that seems to be crumbling around their feet—even among Christians. But these are places that need healing and not my subject nor Paul’s.

Some, besides the many relational elements of personalities and attraction that weigh in, seek more. Marriage, or being yoked, means by necessity making certain that both parties are pulling in the same direction and with at least similar spiritual vigor.

I concede that I am single by choice. It is indeed my choice as it is my choice to remain celibate during this prolonged singleness. Of course, if I pursue righteousness it becomes a choice that is not much of a choice. It is a choice between the person that will help me fulfill God’s cause in the world and the person that will aid my own personal desires. It is a choice between an adequate mate and a suitable helper. It is a choice between what brings glory to God and what eases the pain of loneliness. In essence, it is not choice at all.

The shallowness this world births in the heart of men and women is unquestionable. But there are godly men and women who, in their struggle to find a companion for this journey, have made a choice along the way to remain single. It is their choice but it is an insult to have their true and good choice reduced to simple cliché, “You’re just too picky.”

No, not everyone is simply too picky. Some are simply wise and discerning. Some have determined that marriage is not the end goal—righteousness and the coming of God’s kingdom is the goal. Thus, choices are made in accordance with this greater goal.

If marriage is our chief end, then let us all marry now to whomever is near—whomever is left. Let us simply find someone, anyone, who is willing to be joined to us and let us move on. If it is children we want, then let us simply find someone fertile. If it is a home we want, let us find someone financially secure. But if it is His cause that drives us, then it is better to be alone than to simply grab anyone. It is our choice after all.

Even as I write, these words don’t come easy. They don’t come easy because the frills of marriage are a deep desire for me. I long to hold someone and to hear her whisper sweetly in my ear, “I love you. I respect you.” This is the longing like starvation for me. But I have a greater hunger. I have a greater need. I have a deeper desire—to see His kingdom come. As this desire can be fulfilled through marriage and through the person I choose—that will be a good choice. Every other choice is, for all practical purposes, no choice at all.

Hudson Russell Davis was born on a small Island in the West Indies called Dominica, and this is only one reason he does not like cold weather and loves guava.  He is a graduate of James Madison University with a B.A. in Graphic Design and earned a Masters in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary.  Currently he is a Ph.D. candidate at Saint Louis University studying historical theology.  Hudson has worked as a graphic artist and worship leader but expresses himself through poetry, prose, photography, and music. His activities are just about anything outdoors, but tennis is his current passion.

Got feedback?  Send your comments and questions to Hudson at hudsondavis@streamsinthewilderness.com.  If you don't hear back within a few days' time, please try again.  Hudson would like to respond to all reader feedback.

Marriage Survey:  Have you "heard from God" that you are definitely going to get married?  If so, I would like to hear your story.  Has God told you t

1) Marry a certain person
2) Not to marry a certain person
3) that you would definitely get married?

Drop me a line HERE and (briefly) describe how you "know" it was God speaking to you or guiding you.