We have a choice, a freedom in Christ defined for us as, “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial [and] I will not be mastered by anything” (1Cor. 6:12). We CAN choose and everyone in the Lord (1Cor 7:39) falls within the “permissible” category. But not everyone falls into the “beneficial” category. It is to our detriment if we lose self-control and are “mastered” by the idea of marriage.

Remember, “not everything is constructive” (1Cor. 10:23). This is especially true if our purpose and our goal is to see His kingdom come and to see the nations bowed down in praise of the one true God. If we lift our eyes and elevate our goals, then, though we have the freedom to choose “anyone”—not anyone will do.

We are to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness” not seek first marriage and hope that “his kingdom and righteousness” follow (Matt. 6:33). We are to seek Him and trust that HE will add as HE sees fit. This is the choice we make.

The woman for me is the woman with whom I believe this chief goal can be accomplished most effectively. The woman for me is the woman who, by gentle admonition presses me to succeed and yet reminds me that she will be there if I fail. This could be any woman (theoretically) but it cannot be just any woman. I do not believe in the abstract concept of “soul-mate” but I believe in the concrete presence of a person who will nourish my soul and who will consider me a blessing. This is my hope.

Since “the time is short,” the choice is to purpose our lives for the advancement of HIS kingdom and not the building of our own homes. If this is what they mean when they say it is MY choice then yes! It is MY choice.

Each person who has rejected me has in part rejected the vision I cast and their possible role in my life. She who I will marry will share my vision and revel in spurring me on to great things. I look forward to presenting her a spotless sacrifice before the Lord and pressing her to great things.

“The time is short!” and so we make choices in accordance with what we believe to be the best way to make use of the time we have. Paul is radical in his admonition. He says, “this world in its present form is passing away” (1Cor. 7:29). This means that we are to live and orient all our decisions in order to maximize our impact for Christ. If this means living our lives committed to His purposes in such a way that some women or some men are turned away—then so be it. This is our choice and a good one. Still, the hope is that along the way someone else will share our passion and join us.