Keep in mind, again, that I am not a psychologist, a counselor or professionally trained in any capacity to diagnose relationship problems.  But I am a fellow believer.  Your sister in Christ!  A student of life.  And a child of the King.  As one who is walking with the Lord and strives to daily steep myself in the Truth of God’s Word, I believe that by looking through the eyes of faith—and by the revelation of the Holy Spirit—I am able to see a little closer to the heart of a matter and can hopefully share some insight and give you some food for thought.  (And if we were having some coffee and a chat in person, I would give you a hug and lovingly raise these same questions and issues to you).

Right now, I believe you are being shown a very large, nay HUGE, cautionary red flag.  This is to advise you that there are possibly even more dangerous situations, arguments and encounters ahead for you in this relationship.

Sometimes it is easier to see something for what it is when you remove yourself from the equation.  So try looking at it this way:  If you had a daughter who was dating a man like your boyfriend and described to you the scenarios and treatments that you are talking about in your question, what would your response be?  Your answer to this question should tell you a lot.

I’m sure you would not want a daughter to be treated in this same manner.  You would love and care for her, and you would want someone to treat her as a cherished treasure and a valued individual. 

Sometimes we are afraid of being alone and want so badly for a relationship to work that we will turn a blind eye to what should be looked at very carefully.  We can excuse away or rationalize to the detriment of getting stuck in a horrible relationship—one that is only destructive and not life-giving.

You are freshly divorced (probably still very vulnerable) and are not yet remarried, so there is nothing binding that is holding you to this man.  If you are still unsure what to do at this juncture, may I advise you to (at the very least) take a breather from each other.  At least a month.  See what happens during this time.  Does his behavior change toward you?  Does he become increasingly hostile and controlling and demeaning?  Do you feel threatened and do his “tantrums” that you indicated cause you to fear for your safety?  Or do you find your own feelings changing toward him?  Are you able to see that this is not the way in which you want to be treated in a relationship?  I think you will know sooner rather than later and will gain much clarity when you spend some time apart. 

Ask your trusted friends and family members to join you in prayer and to walk alongside you in this process.  You need support right now.  And friends and family can be a good sounding board for you during a time when you may not be able to see clearly and when your emotions may be clouding your judgment.  Also, speaking of friends and family, do any of them know what you have referenced in your question here?  Do they know what has really been going on?  And do they approve?  I can’t imagine anyone standing beside you who wouldn’t advise you to take some steps away to reassess the situation.  I mean, I don’t even know you personally, and I am not feeling good at all about what I have read in just a short question.