This may be due to a laziness of taking the time to get to know a person (or people group), lack of immediate interest, worry about what others may think or something totally different, but as a result we fail to live by and live up to God’s example.

God does not judge by external appearance (Galatians 2:6).

If we have our mind set on things above, God calls us to look and live beyond the external, no matter how difficult it may be.

As we all get older, we carry with us many experiences, memories, emotional hurts, and mistakes (a.k.a. baggage) of past relationships.  It is a result of these that we often formulate our opinions, preferences and decisions in our future relationships. 

In your situation, the only factor you have control of is yourself.  Only you can determine the way you deal with, accept or react to other people and how you handle your relationships.

If you meet someone who interests you, pursue her in a godly way—with respect for her as a sister in Christ.  Treat her as you would want someone to treat your future wife.

Whether or not she receives your interest and advances is her choice and for her reasons.  It may not make sense to you, it may be altogether absurd, there may be no explanation whatsoever for her rejection, or she may not feel comfortable with the age difference, but it is her decision.

As you mention, one woman your age may feel you look too young for her, while a younger one may feel you are too old.  Each person and couple must determine and decide, on their own and for themselves, what is best—God’s best.

In every relationship you enter into and with whomever you pursue, conduct yourself in a way that exemplifies how God wants you to live—not judging by external appearances but rather looking at a person’s heart.


SHE SAID:  Obstacles.  We all have them in every facet of our lives, as well as in our potential or current relationships.

For some, it may be proximity.  Distance may pose a problem when it comes to two people coming together.  For others it might be incompatibility when it comes to intelligence, career success, interests, religious affiliations or even … yes … height.

For you (and you’re not alone here), it is age.  But here’s what’s interesting:  what you see as an obstacle may not be seen as an obstacle by someone else. 

For example, a man might perceive that he has not reached the point in his career where he feels good about himself and is “successful.”  Maybe he’s still in school or working an in-between type of job.  And the woman who is interested in him could care less.  She likes him for who he is and not what he has accomplished or is bringing home in his wallet.  Therefore, his position on the career ladder is not an obstacle to her.