Everybody loves Love. The notion of being carried away by romantic passion is one of the most common storylines of film and literature. It feels good to be swept up in a rush of love and euphoria. Life looks different. Flowers smell sweeter. Food tastes better. We walk with a spring in our step. 

These reactions to a new relationship are the result of chemical processes deep within the brain. They are important to relational bonding and have a powerful impact on our ability to think and make rational decisions.

In fact, love, like other primary emotions such as fear and anger, can easily overwhelm us and cloud our judgment. The key to creating a relationship that lasts past the initial "falling in love" stage is falling in love with your smarts intact. Relationship experts Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott coined the term "Smart Love" to explain the ways that singles can begin a deep emotional relationship with their eyes wide open.

Smart Love seeks a good match—Smart Love knows that for a relationship to have a good chance for success, both partners need to be similar in the important ways. The Parrotts point out that couples well matched in age, educational ambitions, intelligence, and physical attractiveness have a better chance to resolve whatever differences do occur during their relationship.  Their common ground binds them together.

Smart Love pays attention to values—Smart Love carefully observes a person's actions. Discovering a person's value system is priority number one. How do they treat service personnel, like waiters? How do they treat their family? What makes them laugh? Do they often see themselves as the victim? Most people are on their best behavior while dating, and these questions are great litmus tests to reveal their true values.

Smart Love doesn't try to change others—One of the worst and most common relationship mistakes occurs when one person decides they will "fix" their date.  They are aware of the flaws in their partner and decide that with enough time and "love" they can repair them. These people are often so desperate to be in a relationship that nothing can convince them that theirs is untenable. The Parrotts explain the simple proposition that, "What you see is what you get, and your chances of changing it are very slim."