Wesley bites his bottom lip and hands the controls to his dad. At this point, mom and dad start bickering about how to work the game as Wesley's eyes well up with tears.

They fiddle with the game for a while until the father gives up and tosses the controls to his wife. "Here, you do it," he says. "Hey, where'd Wesley go?"

These are the moments where deep lessons are taught. Not intentionally, mind you, but taught just the same. And what did Wesley learn? Most likely, that he's incapable of doing things himself, that it's hard to please people and that his feelings don't really matter. 

All that from a single incident with a video game? Not exactly. But if similar moments are repeated again and again over the course of his childhood (where mom and dad are routinely overbearing, raise their voices in exasperation, and lose their patience), a clear and enduring message is sent.

The point is that small exchanges between you and the family you grew up in had emotional subtexts, and the messages, if left unexamined, will last a lifetime and shape every relationship you try to cultivate. 

So if you want to shed some light on your current relationships, give some time to exploring lessons learned—whether good or bad—from your family of origin.

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