4. Loneliness can drive a person to make a commitment hastily. This can be especially true among the divorced and widowed. The problem with this is that lonely people will end up lonely in their relationships if there is no stronger foundation supporting the relationship. In other words, loneliness should be banished not by the form or institution shaping a relationship, but by the relationship itself.

5. Obligation sometimes substitutes for love when choosing to marry or pursue a serious relationship. Some partners become very serious because one partner feels too guilty to break the relationship off. A woman who believes that her loyal devotion and encouragement will help her partner to quit drinking and live up to his potential could also be an example of this. Such relationships frequently do not work. The helper finds that his or her partner won't change very easily, and the pitied partner comes to resent being part of a crusade.

Breaking up a relationship before things are too serious is never easy and can be quite painful. However, it is always worse to experience a painful divorce or an unhappy marriage. Whatever route you take to find the right person, it is important to make sure your reasons for pursuing a relationship that may lead to marriage contribute to the success of that relationship. Try to keep a clear head, wipe the stars from your eyes, and take the time make sure you are falling in love with a person, rather than falling in love with love itself.

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