J.T. told us about a high-school teacher who mentored him and how his father loved to tinker with electronics.  J.T. then described several of his projects.

With plenty of time on our hands, we were able to ask J.T. questions about his family.  Questions about his church.  Questions about his upbringing.  We asked literally dozens of questions.

And you know what?  When we finally pulled up to our hotel and began unloading our bags, J.T. asked each of us for our business cards and said, “You boys sure are interesting.  It was great getting to know you.”  And with that he climbed into his SUV and sped away.

We looked at each other and smiled.

Truth be told, J.T. didn’t get to know us at all.  In two hours of conversation, he did not ask a single question with the exception of the obligatory “How was your flight?”  It’s not an uncommon experience.  Many people who have never found their social barometer don’t know how to put the spotlight on the person they are with.  They’ve never consciously considered how to pull a person out and make them feel known.

The only reason J.T. thought we were interesting is because we showed genuine interest in him.  And we affirmed him on top of it.  For nearly two hours, he was on center stage with two strangers who supplied him with a string of quality questions about himself.  That kind of genuine interest had succeeded in making him feel good about himself as he sped off.

Perhaps you are already well aware of the power of this simple strategy.  Maybe you have been doing it for years.  Then congratulations!  We are sure you don’t lack for friends.