This means that a man should be the initiator in a relationship.  Because a wife’s role is clearly to follow the leadership of her husband, a single woman should allow a man to pursue her only if he is worthy of her submission.

What do you think?  Are you an egalitarian or a complementarian?  How do you think this affects your dating relationships?

But let’s press the issue a bit by looking at our third scenario. 

Denise just turned thirty.  She is a business professional working in a metropolitan area across the country from her parents.  She is active in her local church and busy with friends and activities but has not had any real experience with romantic relationships.  She feels her biological clock ticking and wants to get married and have children.  What should she do? 

Ideally, Denise would not have a job away from the care and protection of her parents, especially because she’s a single woman.  If for some reason she cannot move back to their area, she should first express her desires to God in prayer.  Consideration should be given to whether being a wife and mother is becoming an idol in her heart.  And if she wants to be found by the right kind of guy, she should focus her time on serving the body of Christ.

First Corinthians 7 gives wonderful hope for Denise to use her singleness with undivided devotion to Christ (see verse 35) and unhindered ministry for His purpose (see verse 32).  Should she move to another church with more single men or even seek to be matched up on a Christian Internet dating service?  These questions should be considered with great care and counsel.  Speaking with her parents and pastor(s) may provide specific direction.  She would be unwise to make such serious decisions without parental and pastoral oversight.

If a single woman such as Denise is attracted to a godly man, but he has not pursued her, it is not her place to be the initiator.  She should lay her desires before the Lord and allow Him to direct the man’s heart.  But if Christian men would learn how to be Christian men, I think situations like Denise’s would decrease.

7. The Companionship Principle  

God invented marriage because man was alone, not because he was lonely.  From the very beginning, God has intended relationships to be about glorifying Him by purposeful companionship.  So the purpose of marriage is simple:  to serve, represent, and glorify God as a two-in-one team.  Dating serves as an arena for testing a relationship to see if it glorifies God enough to warrant marriage.  This is the Companionship Principle.

One can use dating as the testing ground for marriage only if one understands marriage.  That being true, let’s go back to the purpose of marriage.  The question that must be asked, then, is this:  Does the relationship move you to serve, represent, and glorify God better or worse than you could alone?