Walking through the park on an early Spring day, I saw a couple eating a sack lunch and talking excitedly with one another. They were young, and I presumed by their frequent touching, constant eye contact and genuine interest in what the other has had to say, they were in love.

“Ah, love is so nice,” I thought to myself. “Here is a couple who truly love one another and is able to show it.”

We are now in our fourth of a series of ten qualities needed to determine if you are really ready for love—the ability to express love, in words and action, for your mate.

At first glance, this quality may seem far too simplistic. Who is unable to express love for their mate? Isn’t that Requirement Number 1?

Yes. There is hardly any relationship that will proceed past the first date unless someone clearly expresses a desire to see that other person again. Then, after the first couple of dates, someone must take the risk of sharing their wish for seeing the other again—and again, and again.

Here’s where a problems arise. There can be a distinct, and disruptive, break in the action. You might feel loving, and genuinely care about the other person, but if you cannot show it, in language that is meaningful to them, you are in for a rude awakening. 

It is not enough to feel loving. We must be sensitive to the others “love language.” You know the routine. For one person, love means gassing up their car and making sure the kids are picked up from soccer practice on time. For another it means a surprise weekend away. The critical issue is that you become sensitive to learning your mate's love language. A love relationship requires an ability to constantly set one’s agenda aside to be alert for ways to meet your mate’s love needs.

Sadly, the old joke—with more than a hint of truth to it—goes something like this:

She:  I need to know that you love me.
He:  Well, if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t have married you.
She:  But, that was twenty years ago.
He:  If my feelings changed I would have told you.

Or, how about this version:

He:  I need to know what you would like from me to show you I love you.
She:  Well, if I have to tell you, it doesn’t mean anything to me. If I have to ask you for flowers and a dinner out, I’m not going to do it. It doesn’t mean anything to me.

Ouch!

Love requires action – thoughtful action. It is not enough to feel it. Each of us wants to receive love in action. So, if you are really ready for love, you are ready for the work involved in learning your mate’s love language—even if it changes over time. You are ready to anticipate his or her needs.